cheating husband?
I’m 13 weeks pregnant wіtһ ουr 3rd child аחԁ I stumbled асrοѕѕ ѕοmе email tһаt mу spouse һаԁ sent 2 οf һіѕ exgirlfriends. Tһеу wеrе flirting very heavily аחԁ mаkіחɡ suggestions tһаt tһеу needed tο meet up sometime. Sο, I guess іtѕ חοt јυѕt ѕο cheating bυt рƖοttіחɡ οח іt…? I don’t know wһаt tο ԁο. Hіѕ family аחԁ I һаνе bееח close up tο tһіѕ point bυt now tһеу аrе defending һіm аחԁ I һаνе һаԁ іt ѕο I Ɩеt tһеm know wһаt I rесkοח аbουt tһеm. I tοƖԁ mу spouse tһаt I wουƖԁ јυѕt ɡеt аח abortion ѕο tһаt wе сουƖԁ ɡеt divorced bυt I сουƖԁ never really ԁο іt. I јυѕt don’t want tο һаνе tο ɡο tһе same road wе ԁіԁ last time wһеח wе wеrе separated wһеח ουr youngest wаѕ a baby. Wе wеrе іח аחԁ out οf court аחԁ hating each οtһеr tһе whole time. I јυѕt don’t want tο рƖасе another child through tһаt…. Wһаt ѕһουƖԁ I ԁο?
Wе live іח Texas аחԁ іtѕ hostile tο tһе law tο ɡеt divorced wһіƖе tһе wife іѕ pregnant.
Find a excellent marriage shrink and try to make it work. It’s worth the effort. If you end up separated in the end, at least you will know that you did all you could.
dump his butt and be a single mom to this baby. this baby needs you most of all, not a small bit of you, but all of you.
drop him like a sack of potatoes theres no point to stop your life or force feelings!
that is sad and im sorry but dont threaten the abrtion .tell him that you are leaving with the kids and will split him unless he agrees to see a name with you and never speak to that woman again
It is cheating! Not physically, yet, but emotionally. Analysis would be excellent for you two if he is willing. If he is resentful of it, it will not work. Same for you. Give it a shot if you both really want it to work, if not, get a really excellent split lawyer.
You should have cultured the first time it’s not the baby’s fault it’s dad is a dumbas*
So sorry.. You have a hard choice to make.. Start by not making an more empty threats. Tell him the truth ” I am hurt very terrible by what you did, and don’t know if I want to continue this relationship.”
First – you need to grasp that saying things just to hurt him isn’t going to make things better.
Secondly – is he just talking to these girls or flirting since maybe the point is that you know you can trust him but do these girls know his actual intent? Is he callously giving them hope of something he’s not going to carry through on?
Thirdly – How did his family find out? Bringing them in doesn’t help either. Either he realizes this is hurting you or he doesn’t. Bottom line – now you have to choose if you can live with it.
I know what you are touch…a mix of hurt, rage and treachery? i have been there…and it was very soon after I found out i was pregnant, and it wasnt the first time. I reckon you should do what feels right to you. Let them stand up for him, but at the end of the day, there is just NO justifying his inability to be a GOOD man and step up when his wife needs him. Tell him straight up what his options are, and remind him that HE sets the bar for how much trust you have for him, and he should reckon about that when he does the things he does. I reckon you have every right to handle it in whatever way you feel is right. He needs to know that he is dead incorrect, and thinking, saying it, or plotting, is just as terrible as the dead. its just as much a treachery. I am so sorry for where you are. It just never feels the same after things like this, does it?
what??? I live in texas and have never heard of that???
well, I would recommend marriage analysis, there is a conundrum and needs to be fixed, or at least try and attept to fix it.
Excellent Luck
Well, first off, have physically tested for any STD’s if you have not done so already. Your child’s safety is at risk if your spouse is or has had relations with another person. Second off, I would make an attempt to get him into marriage analysis with you to find out the source of his feelings and why he is acting out like this. Third off, if there is any abuse already in the relationship, you need to leave since domestic violence not only harms you, it harms your family and unborn baby. If you are having feelings about going through with an abortion just to spite your spouse, I recommend you talk to a shrink physically to deal with these feelings even though you say you couldn’t go through with it, you need to address the feelings that made you say that. Dredge up that you and your family are precious, work on the marriage, but do not be a carpet and do not take what his family has to say to heart. You are in charge of your opinions and you do not need them to defend him to you.
Hi Megan –
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m unusual, though, how did you come to find these e-mails? Were you already suspicious and so looked there? Did he leave it open and maybe *want* to be caught? In either case, it doesn’t sound like he’s the best spouse and father, flirting with other women while his wife is pregnant.
As for advice, I’m not sure what to recommend but maybe that might help you find a jumping-off point for figuring out the state of your relationship. Most of all, though, take care of physically and your baby.
Too terrible Texas doesn’t have laws hostile to husbands cheating on their wives (especially pregnant ones!) Some heavy fines or imprisonment will do those cheaters nicely. Come to New York where any woman can give the boot to a no-excellent spouse who dunks his doughnut with some frankenfish. Yes, you could choose an abortion, and I judge it’s your body and you should choose what’s best for YOU now.
I disagree with staying in a relationship just for the kids. MY parents tried staying together for us, but all they did was argue and it was just miserable at home. Don’t place a child through an miserable home – that is often the worst. I would have understood if my mother had wanted to abort me since she’s gotta do what’s best for her even if it means an abortion. Nobody has a right to judge you.
Megan, I don’t see why your baby has to suffer the penalty, Why have an abortion? I say you should have the baby… You gave another chance to this man.. you did everything you could and now you know it won’t work with this guy. If I was you, i would have my baby, get divorced and fight in court as much as i can to be freed from that cheating spouse.. Just my opinion… Best of luck!
God gave you that baby for a reason. Sorry to say there are a lot of women out there that are raising family without their fathers or the fathers are in their lives a small bit. Every woman is strong and if you feel that your relationship cannot get through this then it’s time to get out there on your own. If his family is defending him, who is on your side? Is your family helping you? You’ll need a name to confide in and help you through this. It wont be simple but if he is cheating OR plotting on cheating you deserve better than that. Dredge up, that baby is a blessing.
Insist on some marriage analysis…NOW, before it gets worse. If he won’t go, go by physically. Sorry you’re going through this. Like your family, born and unborn, it’s not their fault.
I’d be so mad!! What’s incorrect with him? He hasn’t cheated, but who can guarantee he won’t? i reckon it’s just a matter of time until he does.. i mean, what is his excuse? what’s with those emails? What did he have to say for himself?
Value this things & make a declaration, only you can do it. i would tell you not to get an abortion but you already said you are uncapable of this. Take Excellent care of you & have accept for physically, Don’t stay with a man who dis-respected you & your family (since that’s what cheating is)whatever you do DON’T just stay together for the kids… trust me, your family will suffer more if you stay together only for them.
God Bless
Dont give empty threats..he’ll see right through them. You need to sit down and talk to him without yelling, threatening and see what really is going on and what you both might want to do for the kids sake. If he hasnt cheated you will drive him to it, judge me I’ve seen it happen. You also need to stop bringing his family into it they are always going to choose him, he’s blood not you.
For the kids sake dont make it a war make it a peace talk. I despise parents that fight in front of their kids, its ok to argue in front but not a full on war.
I would try and work on it with your spouse. Maybe there are some things the both of you can work on to fix the marriage.